Resolutions

I always get all tingly at the start of a new year. It's so fresh and clean, no mistakes in it, no ANYTHING in it, just blank newness waiting to be mucked about it.

I know that's rubbish.

And also I've been watching a lot of Doctor Who, which explains the British phraseology. Seriously, if I had a British accent, I'd shut up even less than I already do.

Anyway, like I said, I know the whole idea of the new year being fresh and shiny and new is utter rubbish, because really, there's nothing special about tomorrow. It's just another day. But somehow it's so full of opportunities and choices to be made or not made or unmade or remade. It's just so darn EXCITING.

I am a resolution maker, and this year I have three four resolutions for my brand new, shiny year:

1. Organize. This sounds dumb, but we live in 1200 sq feet, and until the economy turns around, we're going nowhere fast. It's time to take this hodge podge of a house and turn it into a well-mannered, organized home.

2. Get Healthy - I'm little, but I am nowhere near as healthy as I wish I was. Starting tomorrow, I'm exercising, feeding my family more whole foods and no more eating cereal that changes the color of my milk. I may even start to buy *gasp* 2% instead of whole. The end goal here is to run a 5K next December.

3. Read. In 2010, I read 100 books. 100. I didn't set myself a reading goal last year and I read precisely five books. Or so. So this year, I'm cutting the goal in quarters, because I have doula training and work and a BABY. So, in 2012, I'm reading 25 books. At least. And only seven of them can be Harry Potter.

It's funny because there are seven Harry Potter books.

4. Word. As in "The Word". My relationship with God fell to the wayside when I became a mother, but if I want to raise up this little girl in the way that she should go, I need to make sure I am on the way that I should go. I miss reading the Bible every night. I miss the closeness I had with God.

So there it is. Organze. Fit. Read. Word.

OFRW.

Or WORF, if you prefer.

Actually, I do.

WORF: New Years 2012

Generally Happy

I am a generally happy person, I guess. Other than the psychosis that makes me mildly cynical and a little panicky, but I'm sure everyone has something like that. We're all a little nuts. If you can't tell, the last two books I read were about mental facilities and crazies. Due to the fact that my life starts, in my own mind, to resemble the books I read, I've been thinking myself crazy the last two days, not the least because I identify just a little too strongly with Susanna Kaysen. Not as much with Teddy Daniels, but definitely with Susanna Kaysen.

Anyway, whether or not I am crazy is not the point. If I'm not, my brain will, as it always does, figure itself out in a few days. If I am...well, there's not much to be done about it now. The point is, while I am generally happy, I am one of the least mindful people I know. Some people live life deliberately. I can't define what that looks like exactly, but you know those people, the ones who live deliberately. Watching those people, I often find myself wondering if I couldn't be living a happier, fuller life. So I made a list. I love lists.

Things That Make Me Happy

1. Spending GOOD time with my Husband
2. Dancing
3. Reading
4. Having a challenge or goal to aspire to
5. Running
6. Shopping
7. Talking to Marian
8. Laughing
9. Traveling and New Places
10. Writing
11. Decorating/Creating/Building

As far as I can see, happiness is like an equation. Things that make you happy = X, Amount of Happiness = Y. The more I do things that make me happy, the happier I become.

Mathematics of Emotion.

About this whole running thing...

I have a love-hate relationship with running. On th one hand, I love to run. I love the high I get when I run, and the sense of personal accomplishment. On the other hand, my knees were shot all to hell when I did colorguard in high school, and now running makes my knees want to move out and fin an owner who will take better care of them.

Every few months, though, I ignore my knees pitiful cries for mercy and decide I'm going to run. I download music, I put on my running clothes, and off I go. This usually lasts about three weeks before I'm back at square one.

It's the new year though, and I need to be a better person. Which means, really, that I need to get in better shape. I'm teeny tiny, it's true, but skinny does not always = healthy. It just means I don't eat a lot. My muscles are the consistany of ricotta cheese at this point, and I feel like that just isn't acceptable. So, the goal now is, as it always is, to run a 5K. The Ortega River Run is February 27th, and it's as good a time as any to try a 5K, and it's roughly nine-ish weeks away, which gives me time for the Couch to 5K program.

I'm going to try and run tonight. It's supposed to be in the 20's though, and I only own one glove. If I layer though, maybe it will be ok.