My feet are swollen.

More specifically, my LEFT foot is swollen. My right was is fine and normal sized, while my left looks like someone inserted a helium pump somewhere beneath my big toe.

I'm not sure how this has happened to me.

Anyways...

Here is a fun fact that everyone at my husbands birthday party learned last weekend:

I am super awesome at Bioshock cupcakes.

When I am outrageously drunk, I will knock things over, tell everyone I love them, reveal secrets that I was never supposed to reveal, and talk to you about my ovaries. and Cervical Fluid. You have been warned.

After a night of drinking until three, I will wake up the next morning at nine, ready to face the day like the chipper little chipper that I am.

Also, Mom, I know you read my blog, and I'm sorry you had to read this one. It all needed to be said. And really, you have no one but yourself to blame. I am, after all, having my leg licked by your dog right now. Which is poor payment indeed for my feeding him. You would think he would be more grateful. The point is, Jojo licking my leg is enough to drive anyone to drink.