It isn't that I don't love you

I've just been so very busy, you see.

Working.

And writing the novel that's going to make me the next JK Rowling (AHAHAHAHA!! if only)

And Christmasing. I don't actually have a tree yet. We're supposed to get one this weekend because my parents gave us forty smakaroos. We spent it on groceries, but we're still buying a forty dollar tree. It's pretty much the same thing.

Christmas is in interesting thing when you're a young married couple. You've moved out, so you aren't the kids anymore, and the kids or sort of the focus of the whole Christmas season. And Jesus. I'll get to him in a minute. But for now, kids. We aren't the kids anymore, so the whole magic of that aspect is missing now.

Example: My sister and I used to sleep in the same bedroom on Christmas Eve and watch Christmas movies (Annabelle's Wish? The best/worse/best/worse Christmas movie on the planet. It's about a cow who turns into a reindeer. Seriously. Also, it's important to note that I just spelled "reindeer" as "raighndeer" The spell check suggested that I really meant "Straightener". Mercy). I usually fell asleep mid-Grinch, but still. It was a Yuletide slumber party once a year. Also, we always got brand new PJ's. Last year we tried that, and at nine, we both looked at each other and said "Yea, I had to work today. I'm going to bed." We didn't even sleep in the same room. She slept in her old bedroom and I slept in mine with my husband.

Childhood = gone forever.

I feel like this problem of missing magic could all be solved by having our own children, because really, kids get the joy and magic of Christmas. But while we are neither kids nor parents, we're stuck in Holiday limbo.

On the bright side, my Mommy still fills my stocking on Christmas Eve, although last year she did it while I was still awake and sitting on the couch. I watched her do it. Seriously Mom, how am I supposed to believe in Santa Claus if you do stuff like that. You're killing the Virginia in me, that's what. I told her that, too. Her response was that she was tired and wanted to go to bed. Apparently tricking us into thinking a fat man leaves presents every year was easier when we went to bed at seven thirty. I say her excuses find no sympathy from me.

Judgey Jeudi - The Santa Scheme

Christmastime is over, but I have given it some thought, and I've decided there is just to much darn hypocrisy around Christmas. Not the commercialism. I mean, that's a little ridiculous too, but talking about that is just beating the proverbial deceased horse.

No, I'm talking about the man in the red suit. St. Nick, Chris Cringle, Papai Noel. In other words, Santa Clause. He's a beloved figure, bursting with good cheer and last Christmas's cookies. He's even based on a real person, sort of. You can get the story of St. Nicholas and his Modern adaptation here and here. I would tell you all about it, but frankly, it's late and I'm lazy.

Santa is a beloved holiday figure, and with good reason. Kids love him because he brings them toys. Parents love him because he's an awesome bribe.

As I get closer to having my own children, however, it occurs to me that by perpetuating the Santa Claus thing, we are doing something that we scold and berate our children for: We're lying. Now, now, don't argue. There's no way around it. Santa Claus is fictional. He isn't real. He's fake, and yet every year we call him real and tell our children that Santa brings them presents. Every single year, we participate in the largest conspiracy ever concocted, and for what? For a lie on this scale and of this magnitude, one would think we were hiding something so damaging, so disturbing, that tiny minds would be driven to insanity if they knew the truth. But we aren't. We are hiding that Mommy and Daddy buy the presents, which strikes me as pretty far from a damaging reality.

Laying the lying thing aside, the Santa thing provides difficulties to tiny minds. Firstly, all kids stop believing at some point, and all kids know that they will stop believing at some point. It's just this tiny, niggling knowledge that sits in the back of their minds. Even 4 year olds know they won't always believe. They've seen Polar Express. They know how this stuff works. Interestingly enough, The Year, the year any given child stops believing is met with sadness and bittersweet memories by most adults. Any other person finally figuring out that they had been lied to for 8 to 10 years would be applauded for finally seeing through the ruse. That critical year, though, is like initiation. It's the year older kids are let in on the lie and we ensure that our grandchildren will have the tinsel-covered wool pulled over their eyes as well. We seal that sweet little deal with the whispered words "Just don't tell your sister!" The threat of "Or I'll maim you" is implied. Secondly, children, especially in public school, will notice that Santa doesn't bring as much to the poor kids, or, that if you are a poor kid, Santa brings more to the rich kids, and he doesn't visit some kids at all. Thirdly, most kids are at least vaguely aware of the fact that the mechanics don't make any sense. Kids are smarter than we give them credit for, and they notice all the holes in the Santa scheme, but don't say anything, because there is always that silent threat that, once you stop believing, Santa stops bringing. I noticed all the difficulties at four, and struggled with them, as much as a child struggles with anything, for the next six years, because even though I got Mom to admit to me that Santa was fake, we still perpetuated the Santa thing for years, and I couldn't wrap my head around the discrepancy.

What I don't understand is why? What are we hoping to accomplish by telling our children about Santa Claus? And really, where is the problem with children knowing that presents are given because we love one another, and not as a reward for good behavior from some Benevolent Peeping Tom? Imagine Christmas without Santa, or with him as a fun movie character, but out of the spotlight. Maybe instead of Christmas presents as a bribe and as a reward for good behavior, they can be an example of kindness when maybe we haven't been as nice as we should that year. It's a tiny analogy for grace, really. We could teach our children about gratitude (because who is really thankful to a mysterious omniscient stranger who lives with penguins?) and about giving of ourselves.


PS: Parents - Your kids notice that Santa doesn't bring you anything. Biggest hole in the lie, exhibit A.

December 24

We as the followers don't know much. We don't know when Christ was born. We don't know how many Shepherds or Wise Men were present, or even IF the Wise Men were present. We don't know how old Mary was, or who helped the poor pregnant stranger deliver her first child in a cave-barn. And, really, none of that matters.
All we know; All we need to know, is that, a little over 2000 years ago, a baby was born who, whether you believe in his divinity or not, changed the entire course of history in a huge way. It was a birth that marked the beginning of the end to the greatest plan ever conceived, a plan to save the lives of the whole earth.
This is one of my favorite songs. Do we listen? Do you hear the Angels sing? Is this Christmas triumphant? Do we proclaim Christ's birth with the heavenly host. I hope so.

Hark, The Herald Angels Sing
Glory to the Newborn King
Peace on Earth and Mercy Mild
God and Sinners Reconciled
Joyful all Ye Nations Rise
Join the Triumph of the Skies
With Angelic Host Proclaim
Christ is Born in Bethlehem

Merry Christmas

Mappy Christmashannukuwanzaamadan...and Chinese New Year

Every year around December 1st, Christians all over America take up the “It’s Merry Christmas, Not Happy Holidays” banner. I myself was one of those Christians until this year when I made a stunning realization. Much like the Christian war on “The Gays”, the war on “Happy Holidays” is a shining example of the modern church’s ability to shoot itself in the foot. With an assault rifle, probably.
Somewhere around 1982*, corporate America made a startling discovery. Turns out, we had Jews in our country! Jews, and Muslims, and Black People and CHINESE! Obviously this was a terrible oversight on all our parts, which was only compounded when corporate America realized that all of those people celebrate holidays around the same time as Christmas. Hanukuh, Kwanzaa, Ramadan, Chinese New Year. Add to that the fact that the Catholics had somehow turned up to complicate things, and now we had not only those, but Advent and Epiphany! Thank goodness the Canadians never showed up. If we added Boxing Day to the mess, who knows what kind of chaos could have ensued. But I digress. Shortly after the discovery, board meetings were called to determine what to do with this newfound knowledge, and more importantly, the newfound potential for profit. After all, Halmark had done such a fantastic job commercializing Christmas, why couldn’t corporate America do it with all the other Holidays? Plans were made, Graphs were drawn up, and suddenly someone said “But what will we say?” Thus, “Happy Holidays” was born.
“Happy Holidays” is corporate America’s way of being inclusive and to avoid offending, which is their job if they wish to make a profit. Perhaps this is news to many, but there are thousands of families and people who don’t celebrate Christmas, and we can’t be so selfish that we aren’t willing to share the month of December. How can we spread the love and message that was given to us if we are so busy ranting about how we are being stolen from? In case you have all forgotten, this season is not “ours”. Strictly speaking, the Romans had it first, and it was a festival to celebrate one of their many gods. We just borrowed it and changed it around to suit what we needed it to suit. You can’t feel entitlement over something that wasn’t yours to begin with. We celebrate a worthy thing, truly, and there is nothing wrong with celebrating the birth of our savior, but if Christmas is the only time we think about the fact that our world has lost sight of its creator, we are doing something very wrong.
In reality, there is no reason for Christians to expect corporate America to cater to them during the Holiday season, and it’s counter-productive to think so. In fact, why are we getting so concerned about what corporate America is doing anyway? This is a time to think about a birth whose sole purpose was sacrifice, a young woman who accepted a challenge that seemed impossible, and a young man who trusted what he could not see. This season is a celebration of the greatest gift ever given to mankind, and a reminder to all of us to think first of our fellow man. Why have we allowed simple words to eclipse that? The truth is, we live in a world of many people, religions and creeds. Our mission is to spread the word of God, it’s true, but we will not accomplish that if we are expecting the secular world to spread our message for us.
In this, we Christians have, yet again, missed the point. Somehow rhetoric has replaced the message of goodwill, and semantics the message of peace. If you celebrate Christmas, say “Merry Christmas” without fear of offending. If you are Jewish, wish a “Happy Hanukkuh” with joy. If you celebrate nothing, say nothing, but take all wishes in the spirit in which they are meant, without worrying whether their salutation matches yours.
The point, Church, is to stop worrying so much about what comes out of the mouth of your fellow man between December 1st and 31st, and start worrying about your fellow man*. This season, I challenge every Christian to wish all a “Merry Christmas” while showing Christ’s love to the world, and, when greeted with “Happy Holidays” to smile warmly, wish them the same, and think about the gift that makes this holiday so very happy indeed.

* This year is completely made up, as is any account of corporate America’s actions during said year. Duh.
* I don’t much like this sentence. It’s awkward, but hopefully you see the point. Worry about your fellow man as a person, rather than judging him for the words that are coming out of his mouth.